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Archive for 04月 16th, 2011

四月十六天:北京北 海上海 天津天

到上海工作已经一个多星期了。

今天没有太阳,不热,无雨。一个人坐在这个老别墅二楼的办公室,放着Dustin

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O’Halloran的音乐,偶尔不时推窗和楼下院子里的金毛老麦逗逗,这一切,安静平和得让我忽然又忘记了工作日的疲累与焦躁。

大概我是喜欢安静的。大概我是习惯了一个人。大概这些才会让自己觉得安全。所以这个周末我没有到处走走,不仅仅是因为工作的原因,而是自己也确实不知道该去哪里该找谁。这样大一个城市,有很多曾经认识的朋友,却那起电话不愿意接通任何一个人。就像曾经在北京一样,走到哪里都习惯地带上耳机,在音乐中穿行整座城。

命运有时候就是会让人有一种说不出来的滋味。就拿来上海工作这件事情吧,最终还是没有躲过去,这座曾经让我觉得无缘的城市,如今就在我的眼前了。没有任何与众不同的地方,没有任何格格不入的情绪,没有太多的新鲜感,也没有太强烈的反差。在我的人生即将迈向三字头的今天,对于一切的变动,已经慢慢宠辱不惊了。

尽管每天上班要走20分钟才能坐上地铁,中间还要穿行倒车,晚上又经常加班,好在这个暂时陌生的城市,老总和同事们对我都很好,几个不错的朋友都时刻关心着,还有暂时麻烦合住的小Jerry也是在我到了上海之后又请吃饭又请喝酒又带我到处玩的,让我根本没有觉得这座城市不欢迎我。内心深处都是感激和温暖,特想偷偷地跟他们说声感谢。

尽管嘴上总是半开玩笑的和身边朋友念叨上海人的多么让我无法接受云云,但是内心深处并没有反感和排斥他们。因为这次来上海工作给我最大的感觉,更像是一种倾重不同的旅行,除了认真地对待工作外,剩下的感觉特别想每次一个人去一个国家或者一个城市,背包穿行,用眼睛、相机、文字和记忆熟悉这一切。

刚刚开始的这第九天,一切关于上海的思绪还是凌乱的。没有刻意而为,而是安静地等待和观察一切将要发生和不会发生的事情。宿命的玩笑让人觉得空间和时间的趣味,就像Bob

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Dylan和Dustin O’Halloran的演出就没有在北京看成而是在上海看到的。很多在北京都很少碰面的朋友也都在上海纷纷出现。双城记,关于面孔与记忆的轮回,我们永远弄不明白。

不知是否因为上周末看了Dustin O'HaIloran的现场演奏之后,现在每天上班又会在电脑前响起他的钢琴声。有时候总会回想起那个昏暗的小舞台,当那些再熟悉不过的旋律随着他专注的背影重现在眼前的时候,似乎情感世界里各种感动与痛苦的滋味又翻江倒海般地涌现了。有幸福,有伤痛,有一份份爱和温暖的思念。就像一段久违余味的情感之旅,让心情随钢琴音符一起飞在这座城的夜空,那一刻,忘记了天涯你我,忘记了此时此刻。

今天下午走过中山公园的时候,看到有中老年阿姨的舞蹈表演,每一位阿姨都穿着统一的新演出裙子,精致的化妆,认真的态度,忽然想到了妈妈。其实到现在我都没有去看妈妈的任何一次演出,没有在现场为她的舞蹈加油助阵过,但是今天看到这些和妈妈年级一样大的阿姨们,仿佛就看到了妈妈的影子,那一刻鼻子一酸眼泪差点就掉下来了⋯⋯

昨天妈妈拍的电视短剧播出了,晚上第一时间给她去电话妈妈说反响非常好很多朋友都打来祝贺电话,我在这边听着心里可高兴了。现在已经习惯了不再告诉她一切关于工作不愉快劳累和生活困难的事情,也学会了“撒谎”骗她这边一切都好,诸如公司老总同事对我非常好,身边朋友们对我很好,住的地方就在公司旁很方便,门口都是各种吃饭的地方,交通也都非常好,而且工作也不累,心情非常好⋯⋯我觉得其实当自己因为工作压力太大的时候给妈妈打电话厚颜无耻地编造这些完美假象的时候,仿佛自己也相信这一切是真的了,反而心情也就豁然开朗了。

有时候在微薄看到北京朋友们的贴子,忽然很怀念,虽然鼻子已经有点忘记北京的味道,但是嘴上仍然固执地总是操着北京腔在这个啊拉阿拉哝哝的城市发声。我想,这一切都很好,我喜欢这种平稳的感觉,不管在哪里,你心里仍然有所思念,能够在你忙碌的时候拨过去电话聊上半天,空间的距离其实永远是敌不过心里的贴近的⋯⋯

就到这里吧!越写越多该收不住了。祝一切都好!不管哪里的朋友天涯海角。

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